This time I chose a picture of your handsome hunk, Gary Bolton. Purveyor of the GT200 Fake Explosives Detector. Just to remind us all how lovely he is. Do you think he has a haunted look? We do. A tad scared perhaps? Sadly not bloody and broken like his victims!
Anyhow, after your previous emails, Dear Carly, here is your latest. I wonder why you tried to recall it. Did Gary tell you off? Perhaps factually a tad incorrect? We can of course check out whether your family has the kind of money to loan you £300 odd grand for a mortgage free house? Or was it about £40k for a new convertible A5 Audi? Have to look that one up. Top of the range? All the extras? Massage seats to soothe away the guilt?
And. HIP HIP HOORAY! Another legal threat to add to our collection here at FEDC HQ. Like Gold Discs, they are all framed.
Well, my little chickadee Carly, hun, sweetie, poppet, love, you will feel better if you grass him up. The sooner the better! Or every day that guilty knot gets bigger and tighter, until it will suffocate you.
So, here's is the email Carly sent then decided she didn't want anyone to see, by trying to recall it. Lucky we here at FEDC HQ are on the ball, and we did our due diligence my dear. Yes. We saved it. Recall away. Think we were born yesterday? And we await the legal papers with glee. Oh please, this time make it real, for Dorothy. We're off to find the weasel. The wonderful weasel of Kent. And his Wicked Witch. Luckily we have the brains, the heart and the courage. Sadly no red shoes.: