A DETECTOR THAT ACTUALLY WORKS

NEWSFLASH!

Breaking news (although it should not be because this detector has been around for a while now!).

JREF announces launch of the RANDI (Remote And Near Detection Indicator).

Compared with other detectors such as the ADE651, GT200, ALPHA 6, H3TEC, HEDD1, SNIFFEX etc, which claim they can detect almost anything, but actually work no better than random chance because they are a pile of poo, and the people who sell them are immoral bastards, the RANDI has an incredibly high identification/exposure rate.

The RANDI can detect almost any of the following foul substances, through application of grey matter alone:

Charlatans of many a hue and cry.
So called, self appointed psychics.
Purveyors of nonsense products.
Pedlars of pharmacological piffle.
Psychopath psychic surgeons.
Sellers of scam religions (all of them?)
Completely crappy conspiracy theories and theorists.
Mythical monsters and mammals.

ET Al (no, not Green! That's one of my random musical references).

All you have to do is point the RANDI at a dodgy looking target, and it locks on within moments usually. Sometimes you may have to be patient while it computes the methodology of the con, fraud or trickery, but rest assured, it very rarely fails.

If the target appears to be spewing out large and potentially dangerous spurts of bullshit, the RANDI automatically attempts to shut off the flow, using logic and rational bombs (completely un-detectable by the targets, especially those named above, which could not detect anything except the corruptible and gullible, Sadly we are unable to control the almost inexhasutible supply of these marks or consumers of the scams. They say there's one born every minute. I reckon it's more like one every second, but that does mean the market is still vast for the RANDI).

Regrettably the RANDI does not carry enough armament to stem the flow of BS from every quarter, but  it is highly reliable, and sticks to its tasks like a limpet mine (also un-detectable by those other devices!).

The RANDI is a proven performer in many theatres of operation e.g. John of God.

It has been tested in extreme environments where blizzards of BS can be present.

The RANDI has performed under fire from the various targets it is programmed to detect. Vast amounts of insult, innuendo, diversionary, ad hominem, strawmen, fake evidence, and other forms of non-argument ammunition has been aimed at the RANDI. It still looks remarkably good for its age.

While the original RANDI has been around a while now, we have failed to find a more reliable design.

If the target remains operational, the RANDI deploys its MDC Inter Galactic Ballistic Missile, which carries a deliverable payload of 1 Million Megaton Dollars. Otherwise known as the JREF Million Dollar Challenge. The MDC hangs above the heads of targets and repeatedly drops charges on the targets. Every time they refuse to give in, and accept the MDC is more powerful than they are, they look more and more battered and bruised.

We are working on a new version of the RANDI. The upgrade will include flashing lights, and a nuclear quadrupole resonance missile. This upgraded arms capability will enable even more kills of the targets.

So, the RANDI not only detects, but is programmed to destroy the sources of baloney and BS, wherever it tries to hide.

Some prime examples of where the RANDI has locked on and not let go:

Peter Popoff
Sylvia Browne
John Edward
Quadro Tracker and all the subsequent variant of the detector fraud as above.
Scientology
Homeopathy
Alien abductions (have you seen how many Americans claim they have been abducted! Maybe that explains a lot!! Ho Ho. Just kidding!)
Big Foot/Yeti/Sasquatch
9/11 'truthers' (yeah folks! Actually didn't you know that Muffin the Mule was behind that one you idiots!)

ETC ETC ETC

We appreciate that many of these Weapons of Mass Delusion (W.M.D.) have still not been destroyed, but many have been badly wounded, and restricted in operational range by the deployment of the RANDI.

We regret that some technologies enable some of the targets to repair themselves following deployment of the RANDI e.g. The Popoff With Your Money (PWYM). However, yet again we can promise that once deployed, the RANDI never gives up. It is the most tenacious technology we have yet seen.

So, to test the RANDI yourself, under double blind conditions, and at any reputable academic institution, please contact the JREF at

RANDI.ORG

(No you silly people, RANDI, not RANDY! It's not a naughty site!!, but it can be very offensive to fraudsters thankfully!)