A DETECTOR THAT ACTUALLY WORKS

NEWSFLASH!

Breaking news (although it should not be because this detector has been around for a while now!).

JREF announces launch of the RANDI (Remote And Near Detection Indicator).

Compared with other detectors such as the ADE651, GT200, ALPHA 6, H3TEC, HEDD1, SNIFFEX etc, which claim they can detect almost anything, but actually work no better than random chance because they are a pile of poo, and the people who sell them are immoral bastards, the RANDI has an incredibly high identification/exposure rate.

The RANDI can detect almost any of the following foul substances, through application of grey matter alone:

Charlatans of many a hue and cry.
So called, self appointed psychics.
Purveyors of nonsense products.
Pedlars of pharmacological piffle.
Psychopath psychic surgeons.
Sellers of scam religions (all of them?)
Completely crappy conspiracy theories and theorists.
Mythical monsters and mammals.

ET Al (no, not Green! That's one of my random musical references).

All you have to do is point the RANDI at a dodgy looking target, and it locks on within moments usually. Sometimes you may have to be patient while it computes the methodology of the con, fraud or trickery, but rest assured, it very rarely fails.

If the target appears to be spewing out large and potentially dangerous spurts of bullshit, the RANDI automatically attempts to shut off the flow, using logic and rational bombs (completely un-detectable by the targets, especially those named above, which could not detect anything except the corruptible and gullible, Sadly we are unable to control the almost inexhasutible supply of these marks or consumers of the scams. They say there's one born every minute. I reckon it's more like one every second, but that does mean the market is still vast for the RANDI).

Regrettably the RANDI does not carry enough armament to stem the flow of BS from every quarter, but  it is highly reliable, and sticks to its tasks like a limpet mine (also un-detectable by those other devices!).

The RANDI is a proven performer in many theatres of operation e.g. John of God.

It has been tested in extreme environments where blizzards of BS can be present.

The RANDI has performed under fire from the various targets it is programmed to detect. Vast amounts of insult, innuendo, diversionary, ad hominem, strawmen, fake evidence, and other forms of non-argument ammunition has been aimed at the RANDI. It still looks remarkably good for its age.

While the original RANDI has been around a while now, we have failed to find a more reliable design.

If the target remains operational, the RANDI deploys its MDC Inter Galactic Ballistic Missile, which carries a deliverable payload of 1 Million Megaton Dollars. Otherwise known as the JREF Million Dollar Challenge. The MDC hangs above the heads of targets and repeatedly drops charges on the targets. Every time they refuse to give in, and accept the MDC is more powerful than they are, they look more and more battered and bruised.

We are working on a new version of the RANDI. The upgrade will include flashing lights, and a nuclear quadrupole resonance missile. This upgraded arms capability will enable even more kills of the targets.

So, the RANDI not only detects, but is programmed to destroy the sources of baloney and BS, wherever it tries to hide.

Some prime examples of where the RANDI has locked on and not let go:

Peter Popoff
Sylvia Browne
John Edward
Quadro Tracker and all the subsequent variant of the detector fraud as above.
Scientology
Homeopathy
Alien abductions (have you seen how many Americans claim they have been abducted! Maybe that explains a lot!! Ho Ho. Just kidding!)
Big Foot/Yeti/Sasquatch
9/11 'truthers' (yeah folks! Actually didn't you know that Muffin the Mule was behind that one you idiots!)

ETC ETC ETC

We appreciate that many of these Weapons of Mass Delusion (W.M.D.) have still not been destroyed, but many have been badly wounded, and restricted in operational range by the deployment of the RANDI.

We regret that some technologies enable some of the targets to repair themselves following deployment of the RANDI e.g. The Popoff With Your Money (PWYM). However, yet again we can promise that once deployed, the RANDI never gives up. It is the most tenacious technology we have yet seen.

So, to test the RANDI yourself, under double blind conditions, and at any reputable academic institution, please contact the JREF at

RANDI.ORG

(No you silly people, RANDI, not RANDY! It's not a naughty site!!, but it can be very offensive to fraudsters thankfully!)

MURDER INCORPORATED! JABIRI STYLE.

Did anyone else know this? It certainly took us a while to find out, despite our detecting skills (which are really quite good when compared to those of the wholly ineffective fake explosives detectors, and the 'finest police in the World' - Santa Claus says Ho Ho!!. Aided, we should add, by that top secret detection device known to those with top security clearance as Google).

What have we just discovered?

Remember Major General (another Major General. just like our own favourite Alan Sharman retired), Jihad al Jabiri, Head of the Iraqi Bomb Squad, who signed off orders for $85 million dollars of the fraud ADE651 detector, via General Pierre Hadji Georgiou of Prosec in Lebanon, and ultimately from that chief fraudster, James McCormick of ATSC. Remember, these fake detectors cost many hundreds if not thousands of lives in Bagdhad and elsewhere in Iraq, as well as untold suffering, and property damage.

Well, we were of course delighted when Major General al Jabiri was arrested earlier this year, following the last BBC Newsnight investigation. News was that Jabiri was arrested on charges of corruption. And that the Interior Ministry in Iraq was ordered to pay back $20 Million USD to the Iraqi Treasury as punishment for the corrupt ADE651 purchases.

A little bird told us that the US State Department had ordered the Iraqis to act because they had known for some time that the ADE651 and similar devices, were fakes, and were mad at the Iraqis for buying them, and putting US lives at risk.

By now we thought that Jabiri would be rotting in a tasteful Baghdad jail. Or strung up like he deserves! What a perfectly apt end for a man who claimed he knew more about bombs and explosives than anyone else in the World. A man who claimed that he did not care what Sandia Labs said. A man who said that using dogs (which can actually detect explosives) would turn Baghdad into a zoo!! The man who said that he did not care if the ADE651 worked by magic or science. He knew it worked! Well, of course he would say that wouldn't he!

He had the millions of dollars that he and his colleagues had shared in bribes to protect. Sadly it seems he did not have the protection of his own people at heart!

Well, yet again, we here at the Fake Explosives Detectors Campaign were mightily mad that the 'good' General Jabiri was quietly released from all charges back in May. HOW YOU ASK?

Well, it seems that in 2010 the Iraqi Parliament tried to repeal a law (136b), which explicitly allowed Ministers to unilaterally let off Iraqi public officials for corruption, regardless of the evidence. Apparently they failed to get rid of this licence for corruption, with one or two decent Iraqi politicians complaining bitterly that their efforts to stop corruption were being thwarted (when you check out the links below maybe you will understand why none of the top dogs in Iraq want effective anti-corruption measures in place!)

Well, back in May, the Interior Minister invoked 136b in the case of Jabiri and others involved in the ADE651 scandal. Why would he do that we wonder? To protect his own share of the corrupt loot? You might think so. We couldn't possibly comment! Ho Ho! Of course we can comment. The Iraqi Interior Ministry, and all the others, are riddled with corruption, right to the top!

Apparently, just when Jabiri was apparently being let off scot free, some members of the Parliament were again trying to repeal 136b.

We think Secretary of State Hillary Clinton should be told!

So, just another example of where almost everyone in this disgusting story seems to get away without any action by the authorities, whether here in the UK, Iraq, Germany, where Vollmar and Trier peddle their HEDD1 (formerly SNIFFEX), or in the US itself, where Chuck Christensen still merrily promotes his H3Tec fraud, or In Thailand and Mexico (and many other countries in the World that have corruptly purchased various versions of the same swivelling detectors fraud.

We continue to ask how the hell people who sold and bought this obvious killer fraud are not brought to justice?

We will not stop until they are! Understand that fraudsters and the corrupt. We do not go away until you have paid for the lives you have wasted. Whether innocent civilians, or brave soldiers and police who do the real job on the ground, and earn a pittance compared to you fat bloody cats/pigs!

P.S. Apologies. It seems that 136(b) was actually repealed in April, so we assume that Jabiri was let off just before that happened. If you have any information on this please feel free to let us know.

Some links for your pleasure:

 http://musingsoniraq.blogspot.com/search?q=136b

http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2011/1039/re8.htm

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/113747/20110217/iraq-police-official-charged-in-bomb-device-scandal.htm

http://www.aknews.com/en/aknews/4/225247

MOST WANTED

ADE 651 MOB

Yep. Who could mistake the lovely James McCormick of ATSC. The ex-Merseyside Booby (sorry, Bobby), who came up with the ADE651 after he had seen the MOLE fail miserably at Sandia Labs. And he didn't know it was a con...Not half!

Well Jim, there you were sitting pretty (ummm..maybe not so pretty) on your piles (probably!) of blood money from Iraq. Now it ain't looking so good for you.