A DETECTOR THAT ACTUALLY WORKS

NEWSFLASH!

Breaking news (although it should not be because this detector has been around for a while now!).

JREF announces launch of the RANDI (Remote And Near Detection Indicator).

Compared with other detectors such as the ADE651, GT200, ALPHA 6, H3TEC, HEDD1, SNIFFEX etc, which claim they can detect almost anything, but actually work no better than random chance because they are a pile of poo, and the people who sell them are immoral bastards, the RANDI has an incredibly high identification/exposure rate.

The RANDI can detect almost any of the following foul substances, through application of grey matter alone:

Charlatans of many a hue and cry.
So called, self appointed psychics.
Purveyors of nonsense products.
Pedlars of pharmacological piffle.
Psychopath psychic surgeons.
Sellers of scam religions (all of them?)
Completely crappy conspiracy theories and theorists.
Mythical monsters and mammals.

ET Al (no, not Green! That's one of my random musical references).

All you have to do is point the RANDI at a dodgy looking target, and it locks on within moments usually. Sometimes you may have to be patient while it computes the methodology of the con, fraud or trickery, but rest assured, it very rarely fails.

If the target appears to be spewing out large and potentially dangerous spurts of bullshit, the RANDI automatically attempts to shut off the flow, using logic and rational bombs (completely un-detectable by the targets, especially those named above, which could not detect anything except the corruptible and gullible, Sadly we are unable to control the almost inexhasutible supply of these marks or consumers of the scams. They say there's one born every minute. I reckon it's more like one every second, but that does mean the market is still vast for the RANDI).

Regrettably the RANDI does not carry enough armament to stem the flow of BS from every quarter, but  it is highly reliable, and sticks to its tasks like a limpet mine (also un-detectable by those other devices!).

The RANDI is a proven performer in many theatres of operation e.g. John of God.

It has been tested in extreme environments where blizzards of BS can be present.

The RANDI has performed under fire from the various targets it is programmed to detect. Vast amounts of insult, innuendo, diversionary, ad hominem, strawmen, fake evidence, and other forms of non-argument ammunition has been aimed at the RANDI. It still looks remarkably good for its age.

While the original RANDI has been around a while now, we have failed to find a more reliable design.

If the target remains operational, the RANDI deploys its MDC Inter Galactic Ballistic Missile, which carries a deliverable payload of 1 Million Megaton Dollars. Otherwise known as the JREF Million Dollar Challenge. The MDC hangs above the heads of targets and repeatedly drops charges on the targets. Every time they refuse to give in, and accept the MDC is more powerful than they are, they look more and more battered and bruised.

We are working on a new version of the RANDI. The upgrade will include flashing lights, and a nuclear quadrupole resonance missile. This upgraded arms capability will enable even more kills of the targets.

So, the RANDI not only detects, but is programmed to destroy the sources of baloney and BS, wherever it tries to hide.

Some prime examples of where the RANDI has locked on and not let go:

Peter Popoff
Sylvia Browne
John Edward
Quadro Tracker and all the subsequent variant of the detector fraud as above.
Scientology
Homeopathy
Alien abductions (have you seen how many Americans claim they have been abducted! Maybe that explains a lot!! Ho Ho. Just kidding!)
Big Foot/Yeti/Sasquatch
9/11 'truthers' (yeah folks! Actually didn't you know that Muffin the Mule was behind that one you idiots!)

ETC ETC ETC

We appreciate that many of these Weapons of Mass Delusion (W.M.D.) have still not been destroyed, but many have been badly wounded, and restricted in operational range by the deployment of the RANDI.

We regret that some technologies enable some of the targets to repair themselves following deployment of the RANDI e.g. The Popoff With Your Money (PWYM). However, yet again we can promise that once deployed, the RANDI never gives up. It is the most tenacious technology we have yet seen.

So, to test the RANDI yourself, under double blind conditions, and at any reputable academic institution, please contact the JREF at

RANDI.ORG

(No you silly people, RANDI, not RANDY! It's not a naughty site!!, but it can be very offensive to fraudsters thankfully!)

WHEN IS A CONTRACT NOT A CONTRACT?

Riddle me that my little chickadees!

Some of us have been having some interesting discussions recently regarding contracts and what they mean.

FOR CLARITY

I would like to make absolutely clear that neither I, nor any of the people who have contributed to the campaign against the Fake Explosives Detectors are, to the best of my knowledge, conspiracy nuts!

PLOD

No wonder we call our Police PLOD! Or the Forces of Law and Disorder....

Definition of PLOD:  To move or walk heavily or laboriously; trudge: "donkeys that plodded wearily in a circle round a gin" (D.H. Lawrence).

INSIDE KNOWLEDGE

OK folks. For your delectation, delight and dissection we present the fruits of our labours. Boy, have we been detecting!

FART IN A SPACESUIT

Or, More on The Unival HEDD1 Legal Bluff and Bluster

Here is my direct response to David Vollmar following his legal threat and waffle justification that added no evidence to his already total lack of evidence!:

LMAO.......

..................... AND THAT'S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!!!

UPDATE: BELOW IN RED ARE MY LINE BY LINE ANSWERS TO DAVIDS VERY USELESS EMAIL

YES!!! We have a new legal threat from David Vollmar at Unival in Germany. Had a little dance when it came in!

APOLOGY TO RATS!

In an earlier post I compared the swivelling fraudster mob to rats.

TO ALL RATS: I am so sorry!

OVER THE MOON - HALFWAY TO THE STARS.

Many thanks to Bob Couttie for forwarding this fabulous development.

Almost the best news yet (except for Jim, Gary, David, Stelian, Pierre etc etc)

QUICK HELLO TO STELIAN ILIE AT MIRA TELECOM

Hi Romania!! Nice to see you visiting my little blog. Thank you so much!!

Is it you Stelian, or one of your fellow idiots, who think they can continue to do International business with corporations like Vodafone, once the full story is out. Daft or what!!

Anyhow, we know Jim McCormick has a share in Mira Telecom. That means not only do you continue to promote the stupid ADE651, or are you working with Jim now? No, not just that but living off Jims blood money from Iraq. Nice laundering effort Jim, but we know. You are not as clever as you think are you sunshine!!

So, back to Stelian. happy? Hope not! It's getting worse for you from here. We did try to warn you many times but>>>>

Your call mate.

MEDIA STORM

OK folks. Just completed a round of emails to Lebanese and German media. Respectively concerning ProSec and retd. Gen. Pierre Hadji Georgiou in Lebanon, and David Vollmar and Unival in Germany.

Who can forget the lovely General. A man so lacking in any honour that he would put the lives of his fellow soldiers at risk, let alone those of civilians. Shall we award him the Order of the Turd?

WAFFLE AND STAGGERED!

Department of Business, Industry and Skills???

Well, the only skill I can see here is waffle.

Of course, the British Governement putting a complete Worldwide ban on exports would not send out a strong message. Of course, an official warning to all Governments would be a waste of time.

Really!! Well, to me it seems like the same problem as with the MOD. When we told them about the involvement of the Royal Engineers back in 2008/2009, they brushed it aside. Now we know why! Because they had been caught with their pants down supporting this load of old tripe. As we know they also got other support for exporting this quite obvious scam.

Well, now that Newsnight has stirred up hornets nest again, we expect to see a rather different reaction.

After all, all those old soldiers and sailors serving as politicians will not want to let this drop, since the fake detectors almost certainly put the lives of comrades at risk.

SHOW US THE MONEY HONEY!

Hey folks,

Wanna hear some more good news?

GENERAL AL JABIRI ARRESTED ON CORRUPTION CHARGES IN IRAQ.

Check this out:

http://iraqdailytimes.com/iraqi-interior-ministry-returns-20-million-to-2010-budget-over-explosive-detector-controversy/

This will not be the last of it Jim McCormick, Gary Bolton, David Vollmar, Stelian Ilie, Gen. Pierre Hadji Georgiou, John Wyatt (Twerp) etc etc etc.

Everyone is now after you and your ill gotten gains as well. It's all going to go wrong (something that never happened with your fake explosive detectors of course! Since they cannot work, they can hardly go wrong, can they!!)

Oh, sorry, of course, you could bend the radio aerial by accident...but then you just have to pop out to your nearest Maplins and I bet they can sort you out in no time).

Sorry, back to the story..Say goodbye to your money boys. There's a lot of very unhappy people out there gunning for you, and no way out!!

FAKE DETECTORS NEWSNIGHT LINK

Here is the Newsnight link on YouTube just in case anyone hasn't seen it yet.

There is more to come folks so don't worry if you are wondering why McCormick, Bolton, Vollmar et al are still on the loose.

We'll soon have them rounded up.

BBC NEWSNIGHT REPORT

THE SCUM, THE SCAM AND THE SLIME

For the sake of convenience and rigorous scientific approach, I have now classified various participants.

In the first classification, THE SCUM , are the main protagonists. Those who actively sell, or buy the fake explosives detectors using corrupt kickback payments. This is futher sub-divided into MAJOR SCUM and MINOR SCUM:

DOS MIO! OH DEAR!

DIOS MIO, DIOS MIO, DIOS MIO (Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear in Spanish)

Seems as if them pesky Mexicans have fallen for Jim McCormicks charms and bribes.

MEXICO BUYS ADE651 IN COMPLETELY FAIR AND OPEN PROCUREMENT!!

NQR JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT

WHAT WIPES OUT KLINGONS APART FROM HARD TOILET PAPER? YES. THE FAKE EXPLOSIVES DETECTORS CAMPAIGN.

There's bullshit on the starboard side, starboard side.

PARALLEL LINES

The interesting parallels between Jim McCormick of ADE 651 infamy and David Vollmar of SNIFFEX notoriety.

What might those be I hear you all shout. Well, mainly that both have been rattling on for Months now about how they are intending to have proper testing done on their magic detector devices.

And guess what? That's right folks. Still no sign of proper testing, although we did receive the generous suggestion that we should take a demo of SNIFFEX at an exhibition seriously. HO, bloody ho. I don't think so, but thanks for the thought anyway David. Made me laugh.

As for Jim, you may recall he claimed that double blind testing would not work for the ADE. Mate, you got it the wrong way around. Your dodgy ADE 651 device would not work in double blind testing. You got it muddled up as usual.

Anyway, we wait on, and on and bloody on for proper testing. Will it be initiated by the companies involved. We'd bet not.

PROMISES or GUARANTEES?

Well, true to his word, David Vollmar at Sniffex Europe is getting the Sniffex Plus tested, or so he says.

OOOOOHHHHH. YOU NAUGHTY FIBBERS!

A special hello today to Gary 'I'll sue you (not)' Bolton at Global Technical.

For years now Gazza has been claiming that the not so fabulous dowsing rod known as the GT200 has UK Government and MOD support and approval.

Surprise, surprise. It doesn't. Turns out that it was demonstrated to the MOD some years back, but that they did not follow up with formal testing, and certainly never approved this useless radio aerial on a swivel. Funnily enough they have never bought it or any of the other lookalike rubbish either. I wonder why?

Now the MOD are demanding that Gazza removes all references to UK Government/MOD approval and support from his marketing materials. We will of course be keeping any eye out on this.

Tough luck matey!

Of course, those other well known long noses at ATSC with the ADE 651 (yep, I'm talking to you Jim), and the purveyors of the equally useless Alpha 6 and PSD 2, along with David and his not so wunderbar Sniffex Plus should be aware that we have not forgotten about you! Time to think again about marketing your death trap fake detectors? I hope so. But if you decide to carry on be aware that this is only the beginning. You too will be squeezed till your pips squeak.